The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize