Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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