Will you blow on my dice?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
