it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
