Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
