Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
