can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
