My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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