direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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