eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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