I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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