i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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