he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
