so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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