I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
