It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
