i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
