well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
