Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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