Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
