no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
