We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
