Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
