i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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