okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
