Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
