I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
4 words: hood of his car
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
