I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
