textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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