Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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