I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
