I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
