After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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