i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
