she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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