His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Randomize
