Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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