Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.

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(519): View more from Ontario

oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.

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(205): View more from Alabama

you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!

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(480): View more from Arizona

Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.

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(503): View more from Oregon

He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.

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(315): View more from New York

I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are

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