i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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