Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
