It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
