batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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