She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
