I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
