he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
