Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
