I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
