there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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