I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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