it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
